Well-being Tips for Caregivers
I’ve talked a lot about care homes on this blog, because my mum lives in one, and that’s my frame of reference. However, of people aged 65 and over who are living with dementia, the majority are living at home.
Let’s take a moment today to acknowledge that
- looking after a loved one with dementia is tough
- it is ok to find it tough
- there are a myriad of reasons why your own needs may get neglected, in looking after someone else.
On the one hand, you know that keeping physically and mentally well is really important, on the other it can be very hard to balance that. You must remember that you are important, as an individual, outside of your role as a caregiver.
Here are some things to prioritise.
1. Getting some respite
You must get some small amount of time to recharge. Even if you have other care coming into the home to help, if you’re not getting any time absolutely to yourself, try to find a way. If you can build it into a carved in stone routine that, for example, one morning a week is your free time, even better.
This can involve something that’s incredibly hard to do - asking for help. From a relative, neighbour, friend or even social services. If the help is there, take it.
And by ‘time to yourself’, I do not mean to finally be able to do the laundry. That’s not time to yourself, that’s time to tick off another task. Go and get a coffee with a friend, go and see a film, go and mooch some shops, or sit and watch a favourite tv show whilst munching your way through a bag of maltesers. Whatever way you need to recharge.
Small, yet regular, chunks of time can stave off the need for longer periods of respite. They are important for both of you.
2. Eating well
I’m not saying eat healthily, I am no diet advocate, but you do need to eat. My mum’s eating habits changed drastically whilst she was still living at home with my stepdad, and it can become necessary to cook two meals. The temptation is there to just grab a sandwich for yourself. You need nourishment just as much as the person you are caring for.
3. Creating small moments of joy
When you are time poor it’s difficult to imagine putting time aside for yourself, so start small.
Listen to your favourite song (you know you can do that every single day, right? There’s no law against it).
A flick through favourite old photos and a bit of reminiscing for you.
A chat on the phone with a friend.
What small things could be built into every day life that are there purely for joy?
4. Getting out and about
If you are stuck inside for a large percentage of the time, your physical health will ultimately suffer. Keeping mobile is super important, so, again, call on help to give you time for a walk, swim or even an exercie class. This is not self-indulgent, it’s essential. Setting aside time to maintain your physical health is different to your ‘time to yourself’. It is focused and deeply important.
5. Treat yourself
Be a teeny, tiny bit self-indulgent, in a way that works for you.
Want a cake to eat? Get one!
Wish your favourite aftershave hadn’t run out 6 months ago? Replace it.
Please don’t wait for someone else to treat you. You’ve got to do it for yourself. Whether it’s a bunch of fresh flowers from Aldi, or a new pair of jeans, do something, unashamedly, just for you.
(And then, do it again. Try to make it a monthly habit).
6. Feel your feelings and find healthy ways to let them out.
Know that it’s ok to feel lost or frustrated or overwhelmed and that these are things that need an outlet.
If you feel you have no one to talk to, because often we don’t like to burden anyone else, speak to Age UK or Alzheimer’s Society to see if they can find you someone to chat to. We all need to vent sometimes, and it is far better than bottling things up.
